He is not like the others
he is different
he is not the love 'em and leave 'em type
he is different and he is mine
he's got the full package
at only one year more than I in age
he is smart
he has the rare beautiful heart
not even on the dartboard does he use a dart
he has got a gift
do you see what I mean when I say he is different?
He is different
he makes Life wrong
Life said...
'perfect people aren't real, and real people aren't perfect.'
He makes love right.
Because...
He gave it a definition
he is not your everyday jerk
he is perfect
he is different
he is perfectly different
he is differently perfect.
i found myself questioning
If ever it be possible for a boy to be beautiful
he makes it possible
he is beautiful
he makes the impossible possible
his is an angel
he is different
Friday, 12 December 2014
I know when you have had your heart previously blasted into oblivion it is harder than hard to trust anyone ever again, but if you give it a chance you might find what I did, the life changer the one who can turn the tables unbelievably, you might them like me be able to truthfully state 'He Is Different'
Sometimes you find yourself hating even if you never thought you could hate sometimes you find yourself questioning even though deep within you the answer to your enquiries- this piece is nameless
Never have I ever hated something,
but I hate this
one year older just means burying yourself in responsibility
I am stuck trying to find my number one priority
but it's hard,
nothing's easy when trust is a minority
postcode
your postcode
my postcode
tag our names they do
don't displace or danger will be after you
knives
taking lives
guns
you are shooting for the sheer fun
Love, what have you done
taking away the bae
Love, what have you done
taking away the bae
I don't want hate to see another day
I think all of this in bed as I lay
postcode
what would you do if I hit the road N1?
The time has come for you to reap what you've sewn.
I have taken my time just to ensure you know you make a difference in this world
YOU knock the world up when it's feeling low
YOU are causing it's development on the go
don't destroy its' self-esteem
don't take a speck and make it extreme
instead, help it.
With it work as a team
YOU can change the world
but first you have to change your attitude
school isn't against you,
it is there to educate you
now thinking about that.
Thursday, 11 December 2014
I have once again been hurt and I am to blame it is purely my 'fault'
I promised I wouldn't subject myself to get hurt
This time the fault is all hers
The fault of the girl who in the mirror I see
That fault belongs to me
Hurt
Tired of being pushed into the dirt
And hating being hurt
But the fault is all hers
She decided to take things slow
Little did she know,
She was killing me on the go
Causing pain through my body to flow
I am her
She is me
No-wonder her fucking up cost me his love
Of this split personality he had enough
It is my fault
I took on the pain
And I am the only one to blame
Now never will I see the smile of sunshine during day
Late
It's too late
Way too late
To fix all that happened yesterday
And I am to blame
I added fuel to the fire and rage to the flame
I was delusional thinking love was a game
And now it's driving me insane
But it's my fault and I am to blame
Tuesday, 2 December 2014
When you ask me how do you know you love him my lips refuse to let me tell you but thank-god I have found another way to comunicate this to all of you - my hands are doing the work and telling you, letting you know 'How I Know That This Is Love
What do you do when you make an unfixable mistake?
What do you say when you tare up the one you love?
How do you live knowing you are the reason behind your darling's pain?
These are questions I need to locate the answers to, because, the longer I search the more it will hurt me and the one I love.
It is not affordable to hurt him anymore than I already have, because I love him more than anyone can imagine. The fact is I love him so much that not even he knows how much he means to me, this is not because I don't want to tell him, because there is nothing I would rather do than make it clear to him. It's because I cant tell him, I can't tell him because, words are not enough to explain nor are they enough to describe my feelings and thoughts towards him.
This my friend is how I know I love him.
(His name shall be hidden to those who are unaware of it.)
What do you say when you tare up the one you love?
How do you live knowing you are the reason behind your darling's pain?
These are questions I need to locate the answers to, because, the longer I search the more it will hurt me and the one I love.
It is not affordable to hurt him anymore than I already have, because I love him more than anyone can imagine. The fact is I love him so much that not even he knows how much he means to me, this is not because I don't want to tell him, because there is nothing I would rather do than make it clear to him. It's because I cant tell him, I can't tell him because, words are not enough to explain nor are they enough to describe my feelings and thoughts towards him.
This my friend is how I know I love him.
(His name shall be hidden to those who are unaware of it.)
Friday, 14 November 2014
When you realize you have been chasing someone who is not worth your effort or time my advice to you is to walk away- 'When I Came To Realize'
‘My heart was yours for the taking
our love was history in the making
now it’s me who is more than just aching’
He spoke. I heard him. Then his silence was the reason my heart began quaking because I knew he was waiting. Waiting for the words to escape my prison cell. Waiting for my forgiveness. But they wouldn't. His eyes caressed the surface of my heart, before dragging it under the deepest darkest most taunting sea. His eyes. Captivating me. The crowd began whispering words portraying their confusion. I was lost in their words and his eyes within seconds. I was there but I was gone. I was lost in the darkness of the past... our past.
Though I was lost in the past, I seemed to have been found in the faint visions of our future together because that is where my heart wanted to be even if my mind refused to give in and insisted in reliving the sorrow of the past in memory.
He was standing in front of me.
I tried to find within me what it was I fell for within him, what it was that I loved...
I found myself asking and pleading for the answer to the question.....
Do I love him?
I turned my back to him and began to walk away at the enlightenment of the fact that did not love him and I do not love him, I possibly never did.
It was all lust trodding on my heart.
His eyes filled up with tears. I didn't see them do so but I know they did, I heard it in his voice and as it trailed off I heard the connection his heart made with the floor because he didn't carry his heart on his sleeve but in his eyes. The eyes I fell for. The eyes I was walking away from. They didn't mean to me anymore than he did- he meant less than nothing.
our love was history in the making
now it’s me who is more than just aching’
He spoke. I heard him. Then his silence was the reason my heart began quaking because I knew he was waiting. Waiting for the words to escape my prison cell. Waiting for my forgiveness. But they wouldn't. His eyes caressed the surface of my heart, before dragging it under the deepest darkest most taunting sea. His eyes. Captivating me. The crowd began whispering words portraying their confusion. I was lost in their words and his eyes within seconds. I was there but I was gone. I was lost in the darkness of the past... our past.
Though I was lost in the past, I seemed to have been found in the faint visions of our future together because that is where my heart wanted to be even if my mind refused to give in and insisted in reliving the sorrow of the past in memory.
He was standing in front of me.
I tried to find within me what it was I fell for within him, what it was that I loved...
I found myself asking and pleading for the answer to the question.....
Do I love him?
I turned my back to him and began to walk away at the enlightenment of the fact that did not love him and I do not love him, I possibly never did.
It was all lust trodding on my heart.
His eyes filled up with tears. I didn't see them do so but I know they did, I heard it in his voice and as it trailed off I heard the connection his heart made with the floor because he didn't carry his heart on his sleeve but in his eyes. The eyes I fell for. The eyes I was walking away from. They didn't mean to me anymore than he did- he meant less than nothing.
Wednesday, 5 November 2014
This was my reply to my sweetheart telling me he loves me for the first time, I Love You Too
I am glad you do
because life isn't the same without you
If ever I find you gone I don't know what I'd do
Because the truth is
You can cover your ears to things you don't want to hear you can block things out of memory
but you can't tell your heart how to feel
but you can't tell your heart how to feel
So I know that this is real
Trust me when I say
There is nothing I want more than for you and me forever to stay
Because the secret I have been holding in for so long it actually burns me to is...
I love you too
Please don't again ask me 'how are you'
Because the answer will always be
I am blessed because I have you
remember before you ask me how I feel about you
the answer will forever and always be I love you too
remember before you ask me how I feel about you
the answer will forever and always be I love you too
Thursday, 25 September 2014
We are all entitled to dream and desire this is my dream and there is nothing more I desire, this is what keeps me forever aiming higher
Today’s youth are
constantly portrayed negatively by the media. The time has come to change that.
I can change that. We have been trapped in society’s prison cell for way to
long. Even songbirds deserve their freedom, the freedom they don’t get, is the
freedom our voices will never know the meaning of… if we together hand in hand,
don’t take a stand and show the courage to grab this once in a lifetime chance
to make a change in not only our lives but the lives of those around us.
Some people know
from the day they are born what path they want to take as they maturate through
their lives. I am one of them. To become someone they look up to would be
me over coming yet another obstacle in life; creating another stepping stone to
help me waltz across the aggressive, truanting river of existence itself. As a
young member of society, I sincerely doubt there will be anyone else in today's
world that would devote as much time to changing the lives of adolescents as I
am willing to. Being a teenager myself, not only means I know what is going on
through the minds of other teens such as myself. It also means... I can ask
why, without saying the word. I can dig for deeper meaning. I can cause the
bigger picture to hide no more. I can view the bigger picture. It also means I
will be able to approach those thoughts in an appropriate manner without
reaching the stage of interrogation. Becoming a Young Member of Parliament
would mean I would be able to make a change.
I have a gift. I
have a gift in writing, and I believe it’s time to get my words heard because
the words spoken by my pen have trapped in the ears of paper for too long. If I
am to make a change, then those words will need to be heard by the nation.
I have a
dream.
I have a dream that everyone will be accepted for who they are and not for who they are not. The deception and hatred that Martin Luther King Jr. fought so hard against still consumes us today. Nations dropping bombs and chemical gases still fill the lungs of little ones. But ever prime minister who has ever got elected has promised us one thing. One thing they still haven’t fulfilled. Peace. But it’s not entirely their fault. They can’t achieve something so grand alone. We have there by their side. We have to be there to help.
I have a dream that everyone will be accepted for who they are and not for who they are not. The deception and hatred that Martin Luther King Jr. fought so hard against still consumes us today. Nations dropping bombs and chemical gases still fill the lungs of little ones. But ever prime minister who has ever got elected has promised us one thing. One thing they still haven’t fulfilled. Peace. But it’s not entirely their fault. They can’t achieve something so grand alone. We have there by their side. We have to be there to help.
Just like
Martin Luther King we have to have dreams.
I have a
dream.
I have a dream that everyone will be accepted for who they are and not for who they are not.
I have a dream that I will be part of a community that will fight for world peace.
I have a dream that united we will stand.
It all starts with one.
I am that one.
And that is why I am taking a stand and offering the nation my hand.
This is the gate way to my dream and our future.
I have a dream that everyone will be accepted for who they are and not for who they are not.
I have a dream that I will be part of a community that will fight for world peace.
I have a dream that united we will stand.
It all starts with one.
I am that one.
And that is why I am taking a stand and offering the nation my hand.
This is the gate way to my dream and our future.
Where there is hate there has to be love right? When things get hard get up and dust your self off right? But what if you are the one wanting to let go of everything and everything and everyone just want the best for you so they dont want to let you give up- though I miss 'Our Dark Love' I think its better not to care anymore- 'Our Dark Love'/ 'My Dream'
He said ‘put your trust in someone
who cares for you’. I don’t think he knew, after the last one and these past
few years, trust from my heart, his absence withdrew. Torn from deep within the
beating organism that keeps my body fully functioning. I am, but no-one has a
clue. His admirable love still pains me like a deliberately built in thorn that
refuses to escape ones’ corpse even when the fight is with life itself. His
love built me up only to knock me back down to the person I was before him and
am today.
Even then, trying to replace my near
enough but further than the most distant universe love for him, well... it has
deemed itself impossible. How can I forget him when he gave me so much to
remember? It’s not possible; it would be like me forgetting I exist. Can I
forget that I exist? No. I cannot. I will not. I refuse to. For then if I was
to dismiss the memory of my existence I may as well be dead.
With every breath I take, every word
I say, every promise I make... I remember. Every face, sound, song, poem and
story carries with it a new born baby of a different memory. A memory of him, a
memory of his affection, a memory of us lingers in every corner, not to mention
dark bends are completely occupied with the memories we made together and the
things we wrote up in history.
Despite all that reminds me, I still
find myself battling, to erase his definition. A definition of him. Struggling
to erase a definition of a handsome, kind-hearted, warm and loving devil from
my nature. But life has other plans for us...
Hackney is a cruel and rough mistress
and we are living in her. Her word is final. It always is always has been. She
never rests until the battle is won and the war is over. She doesn’t give a
Juliet the chance to think about leaving her Romeo let alone the opportunity to
forget someone so tender completely or at all in fact. I remember when I was
young she spoke to me in my deem as I fell into a deeper sleep than sleeping
beauty one night, she said ‘you my dear, will fall in love once again, and you
will want to walk away, but I will not let you, not this time and not forever
more because he is the one for you’ when I arose from my slumber her words were
no longer discoverable in my dormitory it was as if nothing had ever happened
and then a whisper deeper than that I had heard in my dreamwrold ‘no matter what, now sleep tight my young
one, no matter what’ but there was no-one in the room... I was only thirteen at
the time I didn’t understand but now I think that may be the only reason no
matter how hard I try, I find myself grasping onto something that has flown out
of my reach. Hackney maybe the only cause for the bitter frost and muscle
cramping winters, or at least those of which have been spent where my life set
its scene.
But then why does the blue blood from
deep within our two families often tare our shared hearts apart by pulling the
opposite ends too much, applying pressure to our devastatingly fragile hearts,
in the place I call my home, the only place I feel home, the only place I am at
home...Hackney. My Hackney.
Sunday, 14 September 2014
Sometimes your heart holds on to things your mind wants to throw away so you find that no matter what you do, you always seem to remember despite you not wanting to 'I Don't Remember, But I Do'
I don't remember that I love you
I don't remember that I want you
I don't remember that I need you
I don't remember writing the love letters you
have
I don't remember my heart skipping a beat at the
sound of your voice
I don't remember missing you every second of the
day
I don't remember when I love you is all I want
to say
I think we played a game...
And I think I lost
I think that is why I am faced with the bills
and struggling to pay the cost
I don't remember your beautiful face
I don't remember your mesmerizing eyes
I don't remember when you became my hobby
I don't remember your voice
I don't remember when we first spoke
I don't know if you exist
Because...
I don't remember us
Did we ever exist?
The one thing you said might remember.
I have forgotten.
I don’t remember how you made me feel
I don’t remember your touch
I don’t remember anything given by us two
I don’t remember our history
Without any history there cannot be present or
future
I don’t remember the messages
I don’t remember those all night chats
I can’t access them even if I tried
I don’t remember my password
I don’t remember my name being tattooed on your
arm
I don’t remember having a tattoo of you
I don’t remember you laughing
I don’t remember you crying
I am not sure if I know you sleeping
I don’t remember your comfort
I don’t remember the arguments
I don’t remember the break-ups
I don’t remember your birthday
I don’t remember what love is
I can’t remember if I ever knew what it truly
meant
I don’t remember when you said anything
I don’t remember your support
I don’t remember if or when you put me down
I don’t remember if the heart I control ever
broke
I can’t remember telling you I will forever
remember
I am the brain inside the person outside.
If all I don’t remember has happened
I don’t think I was call upon during this time
But, I can remember
But, I can remember
I remember the night you asked me to be yours
I remember your kiss
I remember what love is
I remember your beautiful face
I remember your mesmerizing eyes
I remember when I first saw you
I remember how I felt
I remember your last words to me before all of
this
I remember the dreams we shared
I remember the cuts that were made
I remember my name on your arm
Never will I forget your sweet words
I don’t need to remember I miss you
Because I can simply feel it
I remember where you were on our big night
The sound of our song is ever so melodious
inside me
I remember your first words in my ear
I remember when we had to hide
I remember when we touched
I remember your hands through my hair
I remember your head on my lap
I remember the way I cried
I remember when you cried
I remember the dreams
I remember our arguments
I remember break-ups
I remember two hours
I remember three hours
I remember waiting for you to come down
I remember the sunset
I remember our first valentine’s day
I remember the tenderness of your voice
I remember gazing in to your eyes for hours
I remember every hug
I remember every heart beat
I remember every breath
I remember every footstep
I remember because I am the heart
I was in control of it all
Have you ever looked deep within only to find yourself asking 'When'
When?
I don’t want to know when
don’t you understand
I need to know when
so when?
when will I know
when will it all become crystal clear
when will I push you away and hate for you to be near
when did it all happen
when did they take you in
when will you be let out
and when can we begin
I ask...
when?
I hate you
I despise you
but
I miss you?
I love you?
And somehow,
somewhere
deep within my heart
I need you?
I want you?
When did this all start
when will I have the power to make it begin
when will God answer my prayers and free you of your sin
when will this all end and we go back to our creator...
him.
I don’t want to know when
don’t you understand
I need to know when
so when?
when will I know
when will it all become crystal clear
when will I push you away and hate for you to be near
when did it all happen
when did they take you in
when will you be let out
and when can we begin
I ask...
when?
I hate you
I despise you
but
I miss you?
I love you?
And somehow,
somewhere
deep within my heart
I need you?
I want you?
When did this all start
when will I have the power to make it begin
when will God answer my prayers and free you of your sin
when will this all end and we go back to our creator...
him.
Monday, 23 June 2014
Some people need to take a hint simple as that and this is exactly howI feel about that I am sure you probably feel the same- Take a Hint
Maybe it's better not to rush in
Maybe it's better if we take a break
Think of how to build a future with her
because, right now I don't think that we matter
because...
Maybe I shouldn't have said yes
Maybe it'd be better if we take a break
Thinking of our future if this break was to happen
our promises will forever be broken
and...
words that we kept will never be spoken
forever be hidden
when hate creeps in and I am on my own
you are never there when I feel alone
Promises were made to be broken
Just like word made to be spoken
I really think you should take a hint
because...
Maybe I shouldn't have said yes
Maybe it'd be better if we take a break
Thinking of our future if this break was to happen
our promises will forever be broken
and...
words that we kept will never be spoken
forever be hidden
when hate creeps in and I am on my own
You aren't going to be there because I am not alone
I think its time for you to take a hint
I don't love you and I never did
so you need to
Think of to build a future with her
Right now I know we don't matter
I believe you need to hit the road
because...
Maybe I shouldn't have said yes
Maybe it'd be better if we take a break
Thinking of our future if this break was to happen
our promises will forever be broken
and...
words that we kept will never be spoken
forever be hidden
hit the road and let me forget all you've showed
because right here, right now, you mean nothing
Maybe it's better if we take a break
Think of how to build a future with her
because, right now I don't think that we matter
because...
Maybe I shouldn't have said yes
Maybe it'd be better if we take a break
Thinking of our future if this break was to happen
our promises will forever be broken
and...
words that we kept will never be spoken
forever be hidden
when hate creeps in and I am on my own
you are never there when I feel alone
Promises were made to be broken
Just like word made to be spoken
I really think you should take a hint
because...
Maybe I shouldn't have said yes
Maybe it'd be better if we take a break
Thinking of our future if this break was to happen
our promises will forever be broken
and...
words that we kept will never be spoken
forever be hidden
when hate creeps in and I am on my own
You aren't going to be there because I am not alone
I think its time for you to take a hint
I don't love you and I never did
so you need to
Think of to build a future with her
Right now I know we don't matter
I believe you need to hit the road
because...
Maybe I shouldn't have said yes
Maybe it'd be better if we take a break
Thinking of our future if this break was to happen
our promises will forever be broken
and...
words that we kept will never be spoken
forever be hidden
hit the road and let me forget all you've showed
because right here, right now, you mean nothing
Sunday, 22 June 2014
Shakespeare is a true inspiration and plays an imaginably grand part in my literary life- my own use of Shakespeare's language is nowhere near as grand as his but never the less for my lover I would walk land and sea so this was the least I could do- this one is called "thou art bless'd"
thither be a million and one words in this world
some larger than life
some larger than the sea
some as bawbling as can be
some smaller than mineth pinky
some smaller than me
but none art beautiful enough
non art perfecteth enough
to describeth you
thou eyes shineth bright
thou art mineth only star in this darkness devouring me
let me counteth the reasons mineth affection shines f'r you
thou heart is a landeth of beauty
thou eyes can seeth what is not in the ordinary of viability
thou beauty in the night mineth sunset
and m'rning maketh it be mineth sunrise.
thou art bless'd
this is one of many reasons wh'ref're biteth thee by the ear
thou art bless'd
some larger than life
some larger than the sea
some as bawbling as can be
some smaller than mineth pinky
some smaller than me
but none art beautiful enough
non art perfecteth enough
to describeth you
thou eyes shineth bright
thou art mineth only star in this darkness devouring me
let me counteth the reasons mineth affection shines f'r you
thou heart is a landeth of beauty
thou eyes can seeth what is not in the ordinary of viability
thou beauty in the night mineth sunset
and m'rning maketh it be mineth sunrise.
thou art bless'd
this is one of many reasons wh'ref're biteth thee by the ear
thou art bless'd
thither be a million and one words in this world
some larger than life
some larger than the sea
some as bawbling as can be
some smaller than mineth pinky
some smaller than me
but none art beautiful enough
non art perfecteth enough
to describeth thee
some larger than life
some larger than the sea
some as bawbling as can be
some smaller than mineth pinky
some smaller than me
but none art beautiful enough
non art perfecteth enough
to describeth thee
Saturday, 14 June 2014
Sitting in an exam? Don't stress, take it all in. These are the moments that sculpt you in to the being you will soon become. While taking all this in just remember stay silent and refuse to break the 'Silence'- 'Silence'
silence in my new class
all I hear is...
silence
everyone has their heads down
they are all questioning
'why is she here?
But no words just...
silence
as the teacher leaves the class...
Pens drop.
Mouths open.
One or two looking around
then their mouths break the
silence
I can feel the pressure building
their last minutes are approaching
pens scratch and scrape the paper
harder and harder
faster and faster
they want to fit it all in
but...
from their mouths I hear no sighs
but...
from their mouths I hear no sighs
just...
silence
they now have one minute left
I can hear the whisper of a sigh from the distance not shattering
but
merely caressing
the
silence
they are filling their souls with anxiety and stress
but still the only sound...
SILENCE!!!
Not a single tap, sigh, word or sound now
just
silence.
Wednesday, 11 June 2014
Have you ever wondered what love was? Well here is your answer this is what 'Love Is' this one is called 'Love Is [Pt.I]
Love
is a friendship set on fire
love is a one’s only desire
love is what keeps us forever aiming higher
And love is a river that drowns the tender reed
love is an endless aching need
love is a feeling which in its absence causes hearts to bleed
love is the only one feeling with the power to end our creed
love is a flower and you its only seed
Love is music to one’s ear
love is the one telling you what you want to hear
love is a car one that both of us can steer
Love is a heart that’s afraid of breaking
Love is a dream afraid of waking
love never learns to live
love will always take and forever give
love is a song
love only sits and waits for you to sing along
love is a soul afraid of dying
love is a mother to us all
love will shield us from these crumbling walls
love will pick us up is we fall
love is a pit of only the content of two beings within
Love is an open heart
love offers no finish line just a place to start
love is a long road we someday have to face
love is someone’s sweet embrace
love is more than just a beautiful face
love is a burning fire
love shelters you from the bitter snow
love is not a flower
love is not a bead
love if not taken seriously can cause your heart to bleed
love is a one’s only desire
love is what keeps us forever aiming higher
And love is a river that drowns the tender reed
love is an endless aching need
love is a feeling which in its absence causes hearts to bleed
love is the only one feeling with the power to end our creed
love is a flower and you its only seed
Love is music to one’s ear
love is the one telling you what you want to hear
love is a car one that both of us can steer
Love is a heart that’s afraid of breaking
Love is a dream afraid of waking
love never learns to live
love will always take and forever give
love is a song
love only sits and waits for you to sing along
love is a soul afraid of dying
love is a mother to us all
love will shield us from these crumbling walls
love will pick us up is we fall
love is a pit of only the content of two beings within
Love is an open heart
love offers no finish line just a place to start
love is a long road we someday have to face
love is someone’s sweet embrace
love is more than just a beautiful face
love is a burning fire
love shelters you from the bitter snow
love is not a flower
love is not a bead
love if not taken seriously can cause your heart to bleed
With One there is someone but with someone is no-one with one we can chose to run and with one no-one can see the sun- this one is called 'With One'
With one
only one
someone
everyone
the only one
my one
his one
our one
with one word
with one touch
with one kiss
with one hug
one,
just one seals our agreement
one portrays
the love
our minds would rather devour than convey
with one there can then be a two
with two hearts will forever be stuck like glue
there will forever be me and you
you are my one
forever I desire to be with my one and only one
I am your one
with one I have a ring
with one like a nightingale I sing
with one I care about nothing
and with one I care about something
with one I care about no one
and with one I care about everyone
but with everyone
I care about no one
with everything I have nothing
if I don’t have you
with two I have you.
But without one there is no two
and with out two I cannot have you
It all starts with one and only one
beautiful one
it all starts with one
only one
someone
everyone
the only one
my one
his one
our one
with one word
with one touch
with one kiss
with one hug
one,
just one seals our agreement
one portrays
the love
our minds would rather devour than convey
with one there can then be a two
with two hearts will forever be stuck like glue
there will forever be me and you
you are my one
forever I desire to be with my one and only one
I am your one
with one I have a ring
with one like a nightingale I sing
with one I care about nothing
and with one I care about something
with one I care about no one
and with one I care about everyone
but with everyone
I care about no one
with everything I have nothing
if I don’t have you
with two I have you.
But without one there is no two
and with out two I cannot have you
It all starts with one and only one
beautiful one
it all starts with one
Wednesday, 4 June 2014
It is true that when you are in love your mind is no longer in control that is because your heart takes over- I don't remember... But I do remember
I don't remember that I love you
I don't remember that I want you
I don't remember that I need you
I don't remember writing the love letters you have
I don't remember my heart skipping a beat at the sound of
your voice
I don't remember missing you every second of the day
I don't remember when I love you is all I want to say
I think we played a game...
And I think I lost
I think that is why I am faced with the bills and
struggling to pay the cost
I don't remember your beautiful face
I don't remember your mesmerizing eyes
I don't remember when you became my hobby
I don't remember your voice
I don't remember when we first spoke
I don't know if you exist
Because...
I don't remember us
Did we ever exist?
The one thing you said might remember.
I have forgotten.
I don’t remember how you made me feel
I don’t remember your touch
I don’t remember anything given by us two
I don’t remember our history
Without any history there cannot be present or future
I don’t remember the messages
I don’t remember those all night chats
I can’t access them even if I tried
I don’t remember my password
I don’t remember my name being tattooed on your arm
I don’t remember having a tattoo of you
I don’t remember you laughing
I don’t remember you crying
I am not sure if I know you sleeping
I don’t remember your comfort
I don’t remember the arguments
I don’t remember the break-ups
I don’t remember your birthday
I don’t remember what love is
I can’t remember if I ever knew what it truly meant
I don’t remember when you said anything
I don’t remember your support
I don’t remember if or when you put me down
I don’t remember if the heart I control ever broke
I can’t remember telling you I will forever remember
I am the brain inside the person outside.
If all I don’t remember has happened
I don’t think I was call upon during this time
But, I can remember
But, I can remember
I remember the night you asked me to be yours
I remember your kiss
I remember what love is
I remember your beautiful face
I remember your mesmerizing eyes
I remember when I first saw you
I remember how I felt
I remember your last words to me before all of this
I remember the dreams we shared
I remember the cuts that were made
I remember my name on your arm
Never will I forget your sweet words
I don’t need to remember I miss you
Because I can simply feel it
I remember where you were on our big night
The sound of our song is ever so melodious inside me
I remember your first words in my ear
I remember when we had to hide
I remember when we touched
I remember your hands through my hair
I remember your head on my lap
I remember the way I cried
I remember when you cried
I remember the dreams
I remember our arguments
I remember break-ups
I remember two hours
I remember three hours
I remember waiting for you to come down
I remember the sunset
I remember our first valentine’s day
I remember the tenderness of your voice
I remember gazing in to your eyes for hours
I remember every hug
I remember every heart beat
I remember every breath
I remember every footstep
I remember because I am the heart
I was in control of it all
Sunday, 18 May 2014
Though I am not deaf, dumb nor am I blind I salute those who are as their life isn't anything like you may think I have been given the gift of open mindedness and warm- heartedness towards them I only hope you receive the same most gracious and beautiful gift sent from the heavens by the very god that put us on this earth- The Dumb The Deaf and The Blind
You can say what you please,
because to your words I am deaf.
No matter how much you torture me,
never can I tell,
and even if I could,
never would I tell you what you need,
as to your enquiries I am dumb.
You can act out what you please
I am to you actions blind,
I cannot see.
You can slam my head into the dirt
for my dignity I don't mind getting hurt.
You can laugh at me,
if you think a clown is what I am trying to be.
But the truth is,
I have no choice.
I simply cannot see.
I cannot see.
Yet,
I see the
most beautiful things,
I see things but invisible to the sight of one’s
eye.
I have no voice.
I am dumb.
I cannot speak.
Yet with nothing more than the voice inside me,
I sing the
sweetest songs.
Though my voice cannot be heard,
with one note produced by my inner vocal cords
The crowd begins to roar.
I cannot hear yet I hear the melody in music,
I hear the tenderness of one’s voice
I hear the innocence in one’s heart and soul
as it screams out to me
I cannot hear.
But I know when I am welcome
the world tells me where I belong.
I may have physical instabilities,
but never will I ever do you wrong
Like anyone other than I,
In the morning don’t I arise?
Unlike most I can only love,
I don’t know how to despise.
So my heart is continuously increasing inside.
God loves the dumb
God loves the deaf
God loves the blind
And I am dumb, deaf and blind
Friday, 16 May 2014
I can hope life treats you well, I can wish for your life to be sweet but that doesn't mean it's going to happen and it won't happen unless and until you change the world will be bitter towards you 'providing you don't change (someday)'
I am about to crash and I don't know where to land.
I don't.
There is no-one there to lean on.
Thought comes into my head of you
you know what I am talking 'bout
the day I saw you there with her
do you remember the excuse you used?
Ma heart broke and I am standing in the blue
fading back to black, that's all I knew
breaking out of our world without you
I am,
stronger,
greater,
wilder,
built up;
and I have you to thank.
I owe it all to you
in everything I do
I need to take a stand
from your grasp I need to release my hand
and let you know when...
let you know when enough's enough
'cause I'm a diamond
I'm a diamond
yeah I'm a diamond in the rough
I can't believe how blind I've been
now trying to look back at everything
everything my heart rubbed out
rubbed out of the scene of reality
It's going to happen to you someday
providing you don't change
If you don't change
it's going to happen to you
someday
someday
someday
providing you don't change
providing you don't change
Thursday, 1 May 2014
Have you ever wondered why where ever you go you always hear the same thing being associated with pain well here is your answer and I advise you to read this carfully and give it some thought as it is forocious but 100% true - his name is hidden
He bathes in the
blood we shed
Stepping in to the
dreams of those in bed
Twisting
the thoughts in every little head
Until
everyone becomes an enemy and you want them dead
At
his approach the very ground on which we stand begins to quake
Every tree with in
miles uproots itself in an attempt to escape
this is not something you record on a video tape
this is not something you record on a video tape
Shattering women's
hearts
Disfiguring
peace with his merciless darts
And dismantling
our bodies like two lovers broken hearts
He feeds on our terror
He feeds on our terror
To all
bad things he is the bearer
don't trust you were told by your carer
don't trust you were told by your carer
He is
there to damage your future
If you
are on the floor he would be the one to shove
His
hands covered each by a blood stained leather glove
Someone
needs to tell him enough is enough
Set him
straight so he can free us and fly like a dove
With
this in mind
We need
to find something to hide behind
Something, somewhere where us, he will never find
Close
up our doors
Because
he is undercover
Hiding
in the face of a 'darling'
A 'darling'
A darling
he's really not
Putting
on an 'amazing' front
You
believe him
He is
unlike any other
That is
when your innocence he will devour
He is
criminal
He is
no miracle
All he
is, is cynical
To you
he will do the same
Who is
he?
He is
love
Okay so what I am not what this poem is about but we are all humans so why must we be tagged by the colour of our skin we have all got the same mother and father in the end so don't deny thy brother just because of the colour of his skin don't be racist- Black is beauty- despite being 'white' I don't judge people by the colour of their skin because that is what makes them beautiful if we all felt the same the world would be such a glorious place don't you think?
You call us coloured
But
We are black today
We were black yesterday
We will be black tomorrow and always
As always we have been
As always we will be
BLACK that’s me...
That’s us
When we are cold we are black
When we are hot we are black
When we are sick we are still black
When we are hurt and bruised we remain our colour...
But
We are black today
We were black yesterday
We will be black tomorrow and always
As always we have been
As always we will be
BLACK that’s me...
That’s us
When we are cold we are black
When we are hot we are black
When we are sick we are still black
When we are hurt and bruised we remain our colour...
BLACK!!!
When you are cold you are blue
When you are hot you are red
When you are sick you are yellow
When you are hurt and bruised you are purple
And you call us coloured
When you are hot you are red
When you are sick you are yellow
When you are hurt and bruised you are purple
And you call us coloured
Black is beautiful
Black is me
black I will forever be
Black is me
black I will forever be
The starry night sky is what?
Black...
Black is beauty
Black is me
Black I will forever be
You can’t change me
Black I will forever be
Black...
Black is beauty
Black is me
Black I will forever be
You can’t change me
Black I will forever be
Thursday, 17 April 2014
This is for those who feel as if their partner completes them and without their significant other they would not be who they are today- It only makes sense to call this one 'You Complete Me'
How do I show you
I love you
with out saying those words?
If you were a ring
forever I would keep you on my finger
If I were a song
you'd be the sing to my singer
you'd be the sing to my singer
If I was talking about weather
you'd be the snow to my winter
and the heat to my summer
but I am a broken pipe
and you are my plumber
I am a phone
and you are my number
I am a diamond
and you are my value
I am a present
you are the bow that wraps me
I am the pollen
and you are the flower
I am the bee
and you are my honey
you are the write to my writer
you are the hype to my hyper
If I was a fight you'd be my fighter
because I am a flame you are my fire
I wanted prefect
and you were my answer
you were my tuxedo
and I your bow tie
I am an apple
without you I wouldn't be here
because you are my apple tree
you are my sight
it is thanks to you I see
other than you
with no-one else I would rather be
because you complete me
Friday, 11 April 2014
Okay so you know they call me TINA but how well do you really know me? This is my acrostic poem -Tina behind the glass
Telling pen and paper my troubles,
my laughs, my pain,
giving these two unimaginable love
Inside my chambers a hole dug in,
once was filled but is now rapidly increasing
Nothing can refill the hole now permanently engraved and behind my back,
my hands are tied
A star shining brightly once in my heart now its' glow has been pushed into the dark.
I don't know what to believe, I believed in you but where did that drive me? They can try but they can never take it away - Yesterday
In my life...
Never had I thought hatred and pain would play a part
I was wrong
I was wrong
they do
In my life muscles don't play a part
what matters is the content concealed within a heart
In my life muscles don't play a part
what matters is the content concealed within a heart
where you finish I choose to start
if you end on gravity's skies
I will defy gravity and my ground...
if you end on gravity's skies
I will defy gravity and my ground...
it will become your milky-way
let every seed of doubt shroud and die away
my mirror reflects the corps standing in front of him
a fourteen year old mademoiselle
her eyes glistening in loves enchantment
her eyes glistening in loves enchantment
red lips, hazel eyes and a heart.
A heart more entrancing than a perfect sunrise
every little speck of doubt with one sight of her it shrouds and dies
causing hatred never to seek but to hide
she remembers the day she stepped on his
he did the same to hers
the vein broke that day love became a flood of blood
she believed in love, the four letter word that puts tears in ones eyes
the only feeling given the gift of sweeping to uniquely different beings off their feet
the only feeling given the gift of sweeping to uniquely different beings off their feet
Love.
I believed in love.
It broke my heart
a dart no dart board
but he still used it.
but he still used it.
He used it on my heart
I believed in chivalry, oh sweet chivalry.
It died out.
I believed in perfection.
I thought he was perfect
but
life says perfect people are not real and real people are not perfect.
It was right.
No-body is perfect.
He was close to the devil.
But I still have faith that he will change.
We all do.
I believed in freedom
freedom, buried under society's frost
and they call it freedom
it no-longer exists
and then there is you...
you can take the songs me, him and love never sang
you can take the words that remained in the chambers of my heart and never escaped
but you can never take away yesterday.
His yesterday.
My yesterday.
Our yesterday.
Our breaths.
Our love.
The yesterday we shared.
Our yesterday.
The yesterday we shared.
Our yesterday.
Saturday, 5 April 2014
What happened to us?
And I
know you play with fire a lot but
I exist to stop you from burning
Baby I know if I leave you baby
I know you will burn.
I exist to stop you from burning
Baby I know if I leave you baby
I know you will burn.
You will see me up in heaven sayin' I took lighter
Saying life is a nothing without takin' your turn
Baby know that you’re the only one I’ll yearn for forever
Your touch on my heart felt like a feather
Kissing you puts me in heaven
The gaze of your eyes reminds me of when I was eleven
Love and lust as we touch
If I must I will give my life
And use a knife upon my soul
Just let the life tape role
Let life take its course
You can't change the past
And the future is already planned out for us
So there's no use tryin'
Just live our lives before die
Let our lives be lived entwined
(While we still have the chance)
Are you having trouble telling him or her you truly madly deeply love them?- if you are then this one is for you- How I really feel about you
Closer
to home each time
Only because you are there
Then you leave its gone again
I don't like it any more than you do
I am done crying so I say no more
And then you lead me to the door
You cause me to break the law
Its not only your life its ours alone
You throw it all away and try
Just try and pretend we were okay
You know all the sacrifices and all the shit
But still you chose to turn your back
Hurt me and then watch me cry
Tear apart inside and you don't seem to mind
You didn't see the ways I cried and died for you
But this is why I love you
I will love you no matter what I do
That's how I really feel about you.
Friday, 4 April 2014
I never wanted to use you as an example for this but after the last couple of months and today especially I have no choice, oh wait I do and sorry but I don't choose you - It's Decision Time
After months of five
he chooses to renter my life
and it cuts me like a knife
but I have to decide
is it wrong or right
nothing and no-one in sight
just these words on my laptop screen set alight
it’s 6am and he’s got me feeling like it’s late at night
he is in hackney on the other side
asking of me to jump from a considerable height
telling me he will catch me and I don’t need to worry or cry
but I know him all too well to know it’s a lie
not knowing what to say because it took me months to climb
but I know if I listen to him chances are he will laugh and watch me die
I don’t want to look back from heaven to see my mother cry and father sigh
don’t want my sisters to think violence is okay or see my brother committing crime
love and lust have limits but this is just crossing the line
I still remember everything he said about the mother of mine
I showed no care nor did I mind
I finished crying in the instant that you left
because the pain had vanished in the theft
though deep within remains a cleft
sorrow never stays I have met a man who is in all aspects deft
but if the knife was on my throat, if I had to decide
it would be anyone but you taking me for a ride
yet you still wonder why our love we’d always hide
and I questioned why my house you never came inside
it’s time to decide
you have the mentality of a child
I love a man not a boy
I was your girl not your toy
but before I leave make sure it’s your life you dearly enjoy
I wish you only the best
even if with your gun I was shot beneath my left breast
it was time to decide
I have made my pick
it's you who makes me sick
he chooses to renter my life
and it cuts me like a knife
but I have to decide
is it wrong or right
nothing and no-one in sight
just these words on my laptop screen set alight
it’s 6am and he’s got me feeling like it’s late at night
he is in hackney on the other side
asking of me to jump from a considerable height
telling me he will catch me and I don’t need to worry or cry
but I know him all too well to know it’s a lie
not knowing what to say because it took me months to climb
but I know if I listen to him chances are he will laugh and watch me die
I don’t want to look back from heaven to see my mother cry and father sigh
don’t want my sisters to think violence is okay or see my brother committing crime
love and lust have limits but this is just crossing the line
I still remember everything he said about the mother of mine
I showed no care nor did I mind
I finished crying in the instant that you left
because the pain had vanished in the theft
though deep within remains a cleft
sorrow never stays I have met a man who is in all aspects deft
but if the knife was on my throat, if I had to decide
it would be anyone but you taking me for a ride
yet you still wonder why our love we’d always hide
and I questioned why my house you never came inside
it’s time to decide
you have the mentality of a child
I love a man not a boy
I was your girl not your toy
but before I leave make sure it’s your life you dearly enjoy
I wish you only the best
even if with your gun I was shot beneath my left breast
it was time to decide
I have made my pick
it's you who makes me sick
this is goodbye
now without you I will soar I will fly
and be sure to watch you die
now without you I will soar I will fly
and be sure to watch you die
Wednesday, 26 March 2014
We are living in an extremely prejudice society- Society and Us
Hands
like iron they want to see us dying
but not me, they say I am normal
so...
they everyone in society, a cruel group of people set out to kill
but not me I am normal
they hurt you
just because you are not normal
thanks to them you can no longer live with yourself
your hypnotizing eyes end a different drought every night
as you wait for love but it never comes
it only drives further away into shadows
the shadows of those you swear you will never become
now your oceans so immense they lead into deserts
and end the drought
They discriminate against you
with their hurtful laws and penetrating words
trapping you between four walls
but try to stand up to them and they will put a tag on you
absurd
They class me as normal
what is normal, can you please define?
my illness and disabilities are but invisible to the human eye
yet you are being tied
this life is mine
dyslexia and hydrocephalus
the two diseases of mine I am willing to introduce
I just want to set you free let those shackles loose
I don’t understand
how we are being judged this way in our own land
if together we don’t take a stand
then my friend, brother, sister there will be no help at hand
how could you be classed as paranormal
just because you have visible difficulties and disabilities
or because you are fond of those in the same sex
they are the reason you cry yourself to sleep
your oceans are worldwide and tower deep
why am I independent yet they refuse to leave you alone?
where has it gone,
the word that use to be love
It has now turned into a necessity to push and shove
no matter how you toss the dice
you always get black or white
that is twisted and society is questioning why nothing seems right
they don’t care that they are the reason
you can’t sleep at night
not while
countries are having fights
I heard them talking about religion and wanting to see the light
if our voices are to be heard together we need to put up a fight
all hope seems lost
now even freedom has been given a cost
even in summer their hearts are deeply buried in the frost
because you don’t have them on your side
they give the real you no choice not to seek but to hide
they don’t care if you are claustrophobic
inside those four walls you heard the words that escaped their lips
and you noticed they were homophobic
you take the stress out on yourself
cutting and attempted suicide have become your family
you would say your life
they are the reason your best friends are now the sharpest blades and knives
no matter what you try something tells me not to put up with his or her lies
you let it out on your cries
all love ever seems to do criticize
even with the one you love you now want to suicide
but you are still theirs
still there
still here
and you still love your lover and the surrounding society
you still call the one who hurts you a lover
even after it all
but your lover doesn't understand
their love is buried beneath society’s quick sand
if now it’s you your lover doesn't understand
then our world never will
but not me, they say I am normal
so...
they everyone in society, a cruel group of people set out to kill
but not me I am normal
they hurt you
just because you are not normal
thanks to them you can no longer live with yourself
your hypnotizing eyes end a different drought every night
as you wait for love but it never comes
it only drives further away into shadows
the shadows of those you swear you will never become
now your oceans so immense they lead into deserts
and end the drought
They discriminate against you
with their hurtful laws and penetrating words
trapping you between four walls
but try to stand up to them and they will put a tag on you
absurd
They class me as normal
what is normal, can you please define?
my illness and disabilities are but invisible to the human eye
yet you are being tied
this life is mine
dyslexia and hydrocephalus
the two diseases of mine I am willing to introduce
I just want to set you free let those shackles loose
I don’t understand
how we are being judged this way in our own land
if together we don’t take a stand
then my friend, brother, sister there will be no help at hand
how could you be classed as paranormal
just because you have visible difficulties and disabilities
or because you are fond of those in the same sex
they are the reason you cry yourself to sleep
your oceans are worldwide and tower deep
why am I independent yet they refuse to leave you alone?
where has it gone,
the word that use to be love
It has now turned into a necessity to push and shove
no matter how you toss the dice
you always get black or white
that is twisted and society is questioning why nothing seems right
they don’t care that they are the reason
you can’t sleep at night
not while
countries are having fights
I heard them talking about religion and wanting to see the light
if our voices are to be heard together we need to put up a fight
all hope seems lost
now even freedom has been given a cost
even in summer their hearts are deeply buried in the frost
because you don’t have them on your side
they give the real you no choice not to seek but to hide
they don’t care if you are claustrophobic
inside those four walls you heard the words that escaped their lips
and you noticed they were homophobic
you take the stress out on yourself
cutting and attempted suicide have become your family
you would say your life
they are the reason your best friends are now the sharpest blades and knives
no matter what you try something tells me not to put up with his or her lies
you let it out on your cries
all love ever seems to do criticize
even with the one you love you now want to suicide
but you are still theirs
still there
still here
and you still love your lover and the surrounding society
you still call the one who hurts you a lover
even after it all
but your lover doesn't understand
their love is buried beneath society’s quick sand
if now it’s you your lover doesn't understand
then our world never will
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I wear "My battle" scars on my sleeves and lead my life with transparency.
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