What happened to us?

And I know you play with fire a lot but
I exist to stop you from burning
Baby I know if I leave you baby
I know you will burn.

You will see me up in heaven sayin' I took lighter

Saying life is a nothing without takin' your turn

Baby know that you’re the only one I’ll yearn for forever

Your touch on my heart felt like a feather 

Kissing you puts me in heaven 

The gaze of your eyes reminds me of when I was eleven 

Love and lust as we touch 

If I must I will give my life 

And use a knife upon my soul

Just let the life tape role 

Let life take its course 

You can't change the past 

And the future is already planned out for us 

So there's no use tryin'

Just live our lives before die 

Let our lives be lived entwined 

(While we still have the chance) 

Are you having trouble telling him or her you truly madly deeply love them?- if you are then this one is for you- How I really feel about you

Closer to home each time

Only because you are there

Then you leave its gone again

I don't like it any more than you do

I am done crying so I say no more

And then you lead me to the door

You cause me to break the law

Its not only your life its ours alone

You throw it all away and try

Just try and pretend we were okay

You know all the sacrifices and all the shit

But still you chose to turn your back

Hurt me and then watch me cry

Tear apart inside and you don't seem to mind

You didn't see the ways I cried and died for you

But this is why I love you

I will love you no matter what I do

That's how I really feel about you.

I never wanted to use you as an example for this but after the last couple of months and today especially I have no choice, oh wait I do and sorry but I don't choose you - It's Decision Time

After months of five
he chooses to renter my life
and it cuts me like a knife
but I have to decide
is it wrong or right
nothing and no-one in sight
just these words on my laptop screen set alight
it’s 6am and he’s got me feeling like it’s late at night
he is in hackney on the other side
asking of me to jump from a considerable height
telling me he will catch me and I don’t need to worry or cry
but I know him all too well to know it’s a lie
not knowing what to say because it took me months to climb
but I know if I listen to him chances are he will laugh and watch me die
I don’t want to look back from heaven to see my mother cry and father sigh
don’t want my sisters to think violence is okay or see my brother committing crime
love and lust have limits but  this is just crossing the line
I still remember everything he said about the mother of mine
I showed no care nor did I mind
I finished crying in the instant that you left
because the pain had vanished in the theft
though deep within remains a cleft
sorrow never stays I have met a man who is in all aspects deft
but if the knife was on my throat, if I had to decide
it would be anyone but you taking me for a ride
yet you still wonder why our love we’d always hide
and I questioned why my house you never came inside
it’s time to decide
you have the mentality of a child
I love a man not a boy
I was your girl not your toy
but before I leave make sure it’s your life you dearly enjoy
I wish you only the best
even if with your gun I was shot beneath my left breast
it was time to decide
I have made my pick
it's you who makes me sick

this is goodbye
now without you I will soar I will fly
and be sure to watch you die

We are living in an extremely prejudice society- Society and Us

Hands like iron they want to see us dying
but not me, they say I am normal
so...
they everyone in society, a cruel group of people set out to kill
but not me I am normal
they hurt you
just because you are not normal
thanks to them you can no longer live with yourself
your hypnotizing eyes end a different drought every night
as you wait for love but it never comes
it only drives further away into shadows
the shadows of those you swear you will never become
now your oceans so immense they lead into deserts
and end the drought  
They discriminate against you
with their hurtful laws and penetrating words
trapping you between four walls
but try to stand up to them and they will put a tag on you
absurd
They class me as normal
what is normal, can you please define?
my illness and disabilities are but invisible to the human eye
 yet you are being tied
this life is mine
 dyslexia and hydrocephalus
the two diseases of mine I am willing to introduce
I just want to set you free let those shackles loose
I don’t understand
how we are being judged this way in our own land
if together we don’t take a stand
then my friend, brother, sister there will be no help at hand
how could you be classed as paranormal
just because you have visible difficulties and disabilities
or because you are fond of those in the same sex
they are the reason you cry yourself to sleep
your oceans are worldwide and tower deep
why am I independent yet they refuse to leave you alone?
where has it gone,
the word that use to be love
It has now turned into a necessity to push and shove
no matter how you toss the dice
you always get black or white
that is twisted and society is questioning why nothing seems right
they don’t care that they are the reason
you can’t sleep at night
not while
countries are having fights
I heard them talking about religion and wanting to see the light
if our voices are to be heard together we need to put up a fight
all hope seems lost
now even freedom has been given a cost
even in summer their hearts are deeply buried in the frost
because you don’t have them on your side
they give the real you no choice not to seek but to hide
they don’t care if you are claustrophobic
inside those four walls you heard the words that escaped their lips
and you noticed they were homophobic 
you take the stress out on yourself
cutting and attempted suicide have become your family
you would say your life
they are the reason your best friends are now the sharpest blades and knives
no matter what you try something tells me not to put up with his or her lies
you let it out on your cries
all love ever seems to do criticize
even with the one you love you now want to suicide
but you are still theirs
still there
still here
and you still love your lover and the surrounding society
you still call the one who hurts you a lover
even after it all
but your lover doesn't understand
their love is buried beneath society’s quick sand
if now it’s you your lover doesn't understand
then our world never will

This one is called abuse - the inspiration came from today's discussion at school- Don't stand and face abuse fight against it - Stamp Out Prejudice - 'do yourself justice'

My man. 

What man?

My boy, he hit the road

The one who put me on this earth hates me so I am told 

His heart stone cold 

I still cry as I wait for their love to unfold

Love lives inside only the purest of souls

Why not take a look and see just take a peek

Look what's happening to me 

They cut my heart so deep

My flesh begins to bleed 

One day the wounds will scab over 

Till then I wish upon a star to find a four leaf clover 

Or a plane to fly me out of this misery into Dover 

Love is just a word

A word only thought of by the absurd

Hate is true 

True is everything between me and you  

Why do I face this abuse? 

Why do I come back to be hurt by you?

A man is what I need 

A real man to end this creed 

The strength of a thousand men is what it takes 

Watching my heart fall apart and feeling its' ache as it breaks 

This is worse than being in a pit of a million or more snakes 

then what, 
why leave me dying after a couple of dates 

why choose no further from the tree than my mates

That is how I know it is me he truly madly deeply hates 

This is my advice to you 

Here is everything you should do

Please  don't like me stand and face the abuse 

Fight against it 

You know it's true so why not show them you are fit 

Do yourself justice 

When it comes to stamping out prejudice 

You don't just need to be the fastest 
you also need to be the smartest

Let's face it us girls are hopless when we fall out of love we cannot let go or maybe that's just me all I know is I still miss him - this is for the one who still has my heart- 'she may not care but I do'

Cry dying, 

Or 

Die crying 

She won't care even if you are unconsciously lying

You are not a bird so please baby don't try flying 

Ignore her if while you talk you hear her sighing 

Don't believe everything you hear 

There is no truth in gravity defying

The truth is only lies you have forever been denying

If our love was true why do you need clarification

If our kisses were pure why did they taste like added emulsification   

I want you

I need you 

I see you 

But 

You

Don't

Know

I wish you would take time

Take time to spend time 

Buy time to have 

Have time to give time

Give time to get time 

Get time to use time 

Use time to notice me 

Notice my love for you

Notice what was us 

Notice how there is no us

Notice this is something we need to fix 

Because she is not going to care about you like I do

I still want 

To love

To miss 

To cry for

To die for

To hug 

To have 

To hold 

To kiss

You

I still want you 

Us 

Love 

Old times

The girl I was before I lost you 

Well guess what she is not me any more 

She doesn't want to have you

Because she doesn't know your value 

But this is me and I still love you

And she may not care but I do

This is for anyone who feels like without a particular person in their lives they would truly be in hell- Heaven of yours or hell of my own

Gazing at the golden green beauty,
touching the wild black silk ,
chest pounding,
eye lids fluttering like butterflies on a warm summers’ day
arms shaking,
hands still standing,
until...

Yes,
fingers caressing,
heat building, 
heaven emerging.
Hell slowly disintegrating,
Until...

Suddenly it occurs to me,
where are we?
There is no ‘we’
no it’s only me.
Where is thy?
Alone, cold, neglected, maybe just maybe,
in this world there is only me.

If you be gone,
then gone heaven be
it be I in the hell living inside me
and heaven never again will I see.
Because from your grasp I have been set free

If only once again it’s you I see if only
if only you will with me forever be if only
if only like that time before, the sky be blue if only
if only you would think of me in all you do if only
if only we both were stuck like glue if only
if only you had me and I still had you
then surely in heaven I’d be.