Have you ever looked deep within only to find yourself asking 'When'

When?
I don’t want to know when
don’t you understand
I need to know when
so when?
when will I know
when will it all become crystal clear
when will I push you away and hate for you to be near
when did it all happen
when did they take you in
when will you be let out
and when can we begin
I ask...
when?
I hate you
I despise you
but
I miss you?
I love you?
And somehow,
somewhere
deep within my heart
I need you?
I want you?
When did this all start
when will I have the power to make it begin
when will God answer my prayers and free you of your sin
when will this all end and we go back to our creator...
him.