Wednesday, 26 March 2014

We are living in an extremely prejudice society- Society and Us

Hands like iron they want to see us dying
but not me, they say I am normal
they everyone in society, a cruel group of people set out to kill
but not me I am normal
they hurt you
just because you are not normal
thanks to them you can no longer live with yourself
your hypnotizing eyes end a different drought every night
as you wait for love but it never comes
it only drives further away into shadows
the shadows of those you swear you will never become
now your oceans so immense they lead into deserts
and end the drought  
They discriminate against you
with their hurtful laws and penetrating words
trapping you between four walls
but try to stand up to them and they will put a tag on you
They class me as normal
what is normal, can you please define?
my illness and disabilities are but invisible to the human eye
 yet you are being tied
this life is mine
 dyslexia and hydrocephalus
the two diseases of mine I am willing to introduce
I just want to set you free let those shackles loose
I don’t understand
how we are being judged this way in our own land
if together we don’t take a stand
then my friend, brother, sister there will be no help at hand
how could you be classed as paranormal
just because you have visible difficulties and disabilities
or because you are fond of those in the same sex
they are the reason you cry yourself to sleep
your oceans are worldwide and tower deep
why am I independent yet they refuse to leave you alone?
where has it gone,
the word that use to be love
It has now turned into a necessity to push and shove
no matter how you toss the dice
you always get black or white
that is twisted and society is questioning why nothing seems right
they don’t care that they are the reason
you can’t sleep at night
not while
countries are having fights
I heard them talking about religion and wanting to see the light
if our voices are to be heard together we need to put up a fight
all hope seems lost
now even freedom has been given a cost
even in summer their hearts are deeply buried in the frost
because you don’t have them on your side
they give the real you no choice not to seek but to hide
they don’t care if you are claustrophobic
inside those four walls you heard the words that escaped their lips
and you noticed they were homophobic 
you take the stress out on yourself
cutting and attempted suicide have become your family
you would say your life
they are the reason your best friends are now the sharpest blades and knives
no matter what you try something tells me not to put up with his or her lies
you let it out on your cries
all love ever seems to do criticize
even with the one you love you now want to suicide
but you are still theirs
still there
still here
and you still love your lover and the surrounding society
you still call the one who hurts you a lover
even after it all
but your lover doesn't understand
their love is buried beneath society’s quick sand
if now it’s you your lover doesn't understand
then our world never will

Monday, 24 March 2014

This one is called abuse - the inspiration came from today's discussion at school- Don't stand and face abuse fight against it - Stamp Out Prejudice - 'do yourself justice'

My man. 
What man?
My boy, he hit the road
The one who put me on this earth hates me so I am told 
His heart stone cold 
I still cry as I wait for their love to unfold
Love lives inside only the purest of souls
Why not take a look and see just take a peek
Look what's happening to me 
They cut my heart so deep
My flesh begins to bleed 
One day the wounds will scab over 
Till then I wish upon a star to find a four leaf clover 
Or a plane to fly me out of this misery into Dover 
Love is just a word
A word only thought of by the absurd
Hate is true 
True is everything between me and you  
Why do I face this abuse? 
Why do I come back to be hurt by you?
A man is what I need 
A real man to end this creed 
The strength of a thousand men is what it takes 
Watching my heart fall apart and feeling its' ache as it breaks 
This is worse than being in a pit of a million or more snakes 
then what, 
why leave me dying after a couple of dates 
why choose no further from the tree than my mates
That is how I know it is me he truly madly deeply hates 
This is my advice to you 
Here is everything you should do
Please  don't like me stand and face the abuse 
Fight against it 
You know it's true so why not show them you are fit 
Do yourself justice 
When it comes to stamping out prejudice 
You don't just need to be the fastest 
you also need to be the smartest

Friday, 21 March 2014

Let's face it us girls are hopless when we fall out of love we cannot let go or maybe that's just me all I know is I still miss him - this is for the one who still has my heart- 'she may not care but I do'

Cry dying, 
Die crying 
She won't care even if you are unconsciously lying
You are not a bird so please baby don't try flying 
Ignore her if while you talk you hear her sighing 
Don't believe everything you hear 
There is no truth in gravity defying
The truth is only lies you have forever been denying
If our love was true why do you need clarification
If our kisses were pure why did they taste like added emulsification   
I want you
I need you 
I see you 
I wish you would take time
Take time to spend time 
Buy time to have 
Have time to give time
Give time to get time 
Get time to use time 
Use time to notice me 
Notice my love for you
Notice what was us 
Notice how there is no us
Notice this is something we need to fix 
Because she is not going to care about you like I do
I still want 
To love
To miss 
To cry for
To die for
To hug 
To have 
To hold 
To kiss
I still want you 
Old times
The girl I was before I lost you 
Well guess what she is not me any more 
She doesn't want to have you
Because she doesn't know your value 
But this is me and I still love you
And she may not care but I do

Sunday, 16 March 2014

This is for anyone who feels like without a particular person in their lives they would truly be in hell- Heaven of yours or hell of my own

Gazing at the golden green beauty,
touching the wild black silk ,
chest pounding,
eye lids fluttering like butterflies on a warm summers’ day
arms shaking,
hands still standing,
fingers caressing,
heat building, 
heaven emerging.
Hell slowly disintegrating,
Suddenly it occurs to me,
where are we?
There is no ‘we’
no it’s only me.
Where is thy?
Alone, cold, neglected, maybe just maybe,
in this world there is only me.
If you be gone,
then gone heaven be
it be I in the hell living inside me
and heaven never again will I see.
Because from your grasp I have been set free
If only once again it’s you I see if only
if only you will with me forever be if only
if only like that time before, the sky be blue if only
if only you would think of me in all you do if only
if only we both were stuck like glue if only
if only you had me and I still had you
then surely in heaven I’d be.

I know how it feels to want something so badly you will do anything to get it back including cutting - this one is for all the sufferers of stress depression and anxiety you are not alone-'my self harm experience'

He doesn't know
They don't see beyond my hair
But behind my beauty self-harm is standing there
The cuts, marks and scars they are all there
You didn't before so don't now act like you care
Walk with him and watch me die, tell them all to stare
Hear me cry, but don't lie, just walk on and shout to me 'life isn't fair'
My only regret was out of rage returning to him that valentine bear

Beautiful Girlfriend scripted in Script MT Bold
But that is a lie as a true beauty would not have been sold
It would have been believable if it was felt as well as it was told
But because it wasn't, the antagonistic tear leaves me crying in the cold
Even then in my dreams to this day it is still his hand I hold
I am waiting for my now flat rose to once again create its beautiful fold
Then and only then will I to him once again mean more than gold

Roaming my room is the rancid stench of blood
Only the sharpest knife has truly become my pure diamond stud
My hopes and deepest dreams under his feet they were crushed
My sobs cries wailing and screams by his hand on my mouth they were hushed
As long as for you I yearn at night I will forever remain to twist and turn
and during the day the action plan is to crash my Ferrari and burn
I guess when you are truly madly deeply in love you will never learn

My my my
What if tonight is the night I die
Would you turn up at my funeral or will you shut up and run inside
Knowing that it for you the nights my eyes slept not but cried
Could it be your eyes the ones that smiled the second I died
And if tonight shall be my last night know that its for you I took my life
My best friends a year ago became  the sharpest scissors and knives
You didn't help didn't care only they have the power to end my strife

The doors of hell for you alone are now your only afterlife entrance
They wouldn't have been if it wasn't on your behalf I started my self-harming experience

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

This one goes out to all my goglers and fans this one also goes out to the one who will remain unnamed whom I now regret associating with very dearly but at the same time owe gratitude to for giving me the strength I now own though making me cry and angry most times so I guess this is thank you, here it is- 'I Told You'

I told you that by him on my lips
I was intensely kissed
I told you that it was him whom healed my wounds
I told you that it was you indeed
the one who made me bleed
and in return your lips were sealed

I told you it was mine, the had of which he held
I told you about him, our love and how with him I felt, I did,
I told you about our love and all I feel towards him instead of you

I told you that with him there is no obligation to yell
and you know its the love that we had that I want to sell
all because I am tired of living in your hell

It was once you making my intensity levels rise
now with one single look at you it's my heart I jeopardise
one touch and my blood red rose dies
I told you if I stay my heart will continuously decrease in size
He is far less controlling, with you there was no communication with any other guys
finally I am strong enough to say I am done with your lies and goodbye

I told you with you I wanted to grow old
I told you it was you I forever wanted to hold
I told you truly that to me you meant more than gold
Though currently its our gold that is being sold  
so don't come up with the excuse that you were never told
up until today I had always wanted to be your warmth when you were cold
But now the cold is something alone you have to try and scold

I told you it was for you every heart beat
But now in our separate lives I have no care if our children never meet
I told you today, forever and always it will be you and me
That one promise I would have kept if you ever let me be
I told you I despise those who make me feel small
I told you, you should know, for I told you this all

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

If a man has stripped you of your happiness and gone against his promises of forever and always then he is what this poem is all about and this one is for you "The Man Behind The Mask"

I saw you as my angel
But the condition I was in was fatal 
I might as well have called you my devil
Later I came to realise you were awaiting my destruction
The smiles experienced were to fulfil your challenge after the induction
Your plan was now a construction
I now can see your mind was full of hate and seduction
You knew because you saw my heart was made of glass
That is when the compliments started about my ass
More damage than biking on a high-road without a casque
To see the real you, now, that, was a task
For you are not that angel I had once thought 
At last 
I now know you are not that boy of my dream
Or the beauty of any film cast
At last
I have seen all you have cut out to be
 You are just the tall dark man behind the mask
That is the thought going to forever last
You are just, the man behind the mask