Monday 29 January 2018

True rage is one which is triggered by the danger or possible loss or harm of someone near and dear. At any point, I am ready so 'Bring it on'

Text received
danger it reads
Don’t come
until the coast is clear
In saying that-
two seconds I will be near
Sit back I will not
my rage not even through my reply will you spot
Fire behind my eyes
within my heart an unimaginable scorn
Ready I am
Bring it on

Tuesday 23 January 2018

Hiding a secret may have previously been effortless, however when she can read your every move it becomes easier to just 'Tell Her'


Mind screams
‘TELL HER!’
Heart fears losing her.

Of her
a clouded judgement resides deep within

The woman she claims to be-
is that she?
I don’t want her to leave 

Too many times
exposure was a path way to loneliness
my heart aches to keep her

so I can’t tell her 

Not now

That face
fills me with hope
but frightens me also

Her words strike me
but her nature- my pacifier 

Tell her
Don’t tell her
Tell her

Don’t tell her
Oh god… once again
here it comes-

‘I made a mistake’

What are you doing?
Is that what you want?

‘and I still have to live with it’ 

she is going to hate you.

‘I completely understand if
after this you don’t want to talk to me’

You are scaring her.
She’s gone pale now!
Change the subject!
Tell her you are joking!
Something… Anything
Just don’t tell her

‘I have a son’

Saturday 13 January 2018

I hate to break it to you, but perfection is all in your 'Imagination', life prides itself on its imperfections, this world is imperfect and that is what makes it so called perfect

You may never know how it feels 
Unless...

Imagine this,
You are in your bathroom 
Light some candles
Gently place them on the edge of the bathtub
Fill the tub 
Warm water and bubbles 
Turn on the AC 
Light breeze 

Now relax.

Candles die
Tub begins to empty without your permission 
Bubbles gone
You are cold 
AC on
Cold air

Now sit there...

Feeling it yet?
Cold
Empty 
In need of answers 
Needing the truth
Tired of make belief

Too good to be true.

Tuesday 9 January 2018

The anticipation that follows the trail of words you have let escape your mind and heart is enough to kill waiting for the recipient's 'Reply'

Heart beating at 90 miles per hour
It’s the inner me you’ve began to devour 

Checking my notifications 
It may not have been in your intentions 

Confusion is eating me alive 
Too soon is it for me to dive? 

Tick-Tock 
Please someone stop time- stop the clock

Scared
But for a challenge I am prepared 

I need to know where I stand 
Twenty-five past midnight, phone in hand 

The anticipation is killing me 
Whatever the outcome, I just want you to be happy 

Loving you feels like suicide 
Terrified, I’m waiting here for your reply

Friday 5 January 2018

I wish you nothing but happiness and blessing because it was thanks to you that I have found 'Safety'

Could your standards have been any lower?
I know mine couldn’t have

I mean, out of all the possibilities 
I chose you

To hold my hand 
Toi 

To warm my heart
Tu 

J’ai donné la permission pour toi to stand behind me (note: not beside me)
I didn’t mind- thought I had ya

You wanted her

When everyone told me to leave;
the road was winking at me-
took no notice 

By the lust I called love I was blinded

Chosen you were, when 
ya push me off a cliff and watched me fall 

When by your hands I was stabbed; left to die 
Stupid me myself and I 
came back to you 
You were all my heart knew 

I love you meant nothing 
Only nothing was something 

Something has the ability to break 
Something triggers emotion 
And causes pain 

Nothing is something
But something is everything 
Was everything- to me 

Me and me
Alone evidently 

J’ai te choisir 
But you chose her

And who was she?
The girl who once wanted to be me 

My best friend 
My darling 
My baby 

Thank you for leading me to safety 

I wear "My battle" scars on my sleeves and lead my life with transparency.

Of your shit I was bound to tire My heart A victim, of a murder for hire   You I should despise But loving will be my demise.  Since you ref...