You only realise how lucky you were when your luck is in jeapordy and you are so far from your heartbeat and the blessing that befell you on the special day that started your life. I miss 'My heartbeat'

Asleep
awake
in between
nothing but lonely sheets
wish I could escape, sleep
dream
that’s what he use to be
a dream
but
I am
no longer thirteen
now he’s reality
and only beauty to me
awake, only just
and on my mind, him
I can twist
and in my heart, him
I can turn
and on my skin, his touch
even more then, I yearn
and on my lips, his
so I lay there
nothing I can do
but feel my heart set a light and begin to burn
even then, still
within my heart a hole
one that I can’t without him fill
nothing surrounding me
wishing him beside me
nothing,
wishes are for the weak
just bare sheets
missing the way he made my heart skip beats
in the cold, I freeze
to that he was and always will be
the heat
my breath
the reason for the current existence of me
my favourite seat
my heartbeat