Hiding a secret may have previously been effortless, however when she can read your every move it becomes easier to just 'Tell Her'

Mind screams
‘TELL HER!’
Heart fears losing her.

Of her

a clouded judgement resides deep within

The woman she claims to be-
is that she?
I don’t want her to leave 

Too many times
exposure was a path way to loneliness
my heart aches to keep her

so I can’t tell her 

Not now

That face
fills me with hope
but frightens me also

Her words strike me
but her nature- my pacifier 

Tell her
Don’t tell her
Tell her

Don’t tell her
Oh god… once again
here it comes-

‘I made a mistake’

What are you doing?
Is that what you want?

‘and I still have to live with it’ 

she is going to hate you.

‘I completely understand if
after this you don’t want to talk to me’

You are scaring her.
She’s gone pale now!
Change the subject!
Tell her you are joking!
Something… Anything
Just don’t tell her

‘I have a son’

I hate to break it to you, but perfection is all in your 'Imagination', life prides itself on its imperfections, this world is imperfect and that is what makes it so called perfect

You may never know how it feels 

Unless...

Imagine this,

You are in your bathroom 

Light some candles

Gently place them on the edge of the bathtub

Fill the tub 

Warm water and bubbles 

Turn on the AC 

Light breeze 

Now relax.

Candles die

Tub begins to empty without your permission 

Bubbles gone

You are cold 

AC on

Cold air

Now sit there...

Feeling it yet?

Cold

Empty 

In need of answers 

Needing the truth

Tired of make belief

Too good to be true.

The anticipation that follows the trail of words you have let escape your mind and heart is enough to kill waiting for the recipient's 'Reply'

Heart beating at 90 miles per hour

It’s the inner me you’ve began to devour 

Checking my notifications 

It may not have been in your intentions 

Confusion is eating me alive 

Too soon is it for me to dive? 

Tick-Tock 

Please someone stop time- stop the clock

Scared

But for a challenge I am prepared 

I need to know where I stand 

Twenty-five past midnight, phone in hand 

The anticipation is killing me 

Whatever the outcome, I just want you to be happy 

Loving you feels like suicide 

Terrified, I’m waiting here for your reply

I wish you nothing but happiness and blessing because it was thanks to you that I have found 'Safety'

Could your standards have been any lower?

I know mine couldn’t have

I mean, out of all the possibilities 

I chose you

To hold my hand 

Toi 

To warm my heart

Tu 

J’ai donné la permission pour toi to stand behind me (note: not beside me)

I didn’t mind- thought I had ya

You wanted her

When everyone told me to leave;

the road was winking at me-

took no notice 

By the lust I called love I was blinded

Chosen you were, when 

ya push me off a cliff and watched me fall 

When by your hands I was stabbed; left to die 

Stupid me myself and I 

came back to you 

You were all my heart knew 

I love you meant nothing 

Only nothing was something 

Something has the ability to break 

Something triggers emotion 

And causes pain 

Nothing is something

But something is everything 

Was everything- to me 

Me and me

Alone evidently 

J’ai te choisir 

But you chose her

And who was she?

The girl who once wanted to be me 

My best friend 

My darling 

My baby 

Thank you for leading me to safety 

People often take love for granted. Cheating on and lying to the man/woman they claim to "love" but love is shared between two and isn't a three way triangle. Eventually one or both will run and you will be left with 'Just You'

Had two.
Had him.
Had you.
Had comfort when hurt.
Had cleanliness when pushed into dirt.
Had two.
When fighting with him had you.
Gone now him.
Have now only you.
Have no we.
No us.
No two.
No me-no him.
Just you. 

Been hurt too many times by pathetic lies and cowardly actions- the time has come for me to say 'Goodbye'

I’m not the letters in my name
I am not a snake or a ladder
a game, you seem to think of me,
let love beat and hate heat.
That I could and would never be
I’m sorry if with you I forgot the meaning of ‘happy’
but another plan for us has destiny
one where you be you
and I be me
one where each other never again we see
one where the grass is healthy and beautifully green

The future holds a golden land in the centre of its palm
a land in which smiles are an individual grain of sand
you made your bed now without me lay in it missing the tracing of my thumb
me myself and I
my ring is on my hand
I am the lead singer in my band
you, a grain of sand
no matter to me

Don’t you worry no longer will you hurt me
no longer will I be in sight
I’m not seeing the light of tomorrow in your eyes
I’m gone tonight
I loved you
hope you enjoyed hurting me
abuse
insults
my weakness
I have found my strength in the pain

goodbye
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