Since '07.10.15' my stength and weakness have been one and lived side by side under the morning sun- '07.10.15' (Strenght vs Weakness)

My pain,
you.
But with you near...
...all that, is clear
I need you here;
though here you can’t possibly be.
You are not holding me

You turn my world a light
but the light is killing me
I need you
turn it off- only you know how to
you heat the coldest parts of my heart
but its burning
come put out the fire
my current situation without you is dire
remember  the negativity is in their heads
will soon be dead 

My weakness,

you are
but with you I am strong.
It is without you that I can barely stand.
Hand in hand,
without wings I can fly.
Alone, standing there, with nothing to live for
that’s when I die.
It’s hard to understand
but then, everyone else is above land
while my heart is thirsty and buried under dry sand
embrace and affection
we’ll have our turn  
but life holds a long line
from now till the end of time, it’s us against them 

It's time females took a stand and say we're 'Done' because he doesnt care if you stay or you run he is not your morning sun.

He cares
he doesn’t care
it’s a disguise
he loves me
he doesn’t love you
it’s all lies
all you want for him
happiness
laughter
smiles
he doesn’t treat you right
he’ll love me ‘til he dies
you need to wake up and see the sunrise
I would protect him with my life
are you not listening to me
don’t you see
for you he wouldn’t bother to put up a fight
you sound like you don’t care for your life
shut up stop talking your words cut me like a knife
you are going insane
he doesn’t feel the same
to him it’s nothing more than a silly little game
I have never felt this way
I love him
girl, don’t you see its not love
it’s nothing
but lust
it will soon blow over with the wind
like  dust
don’t forget
metal looks perfect
‘til it begins to rust
I will never give up
let go
run
by now you should be done
no I want to stay
wait another day
not yet have I had enough of his morning sun
his smile
you need to turn another dial
what are you waiting for
your death
a trial
where those who love you bare witness
the man behind that smile
run
the only thing to be said is you’re done

Life is crying and wants me back so let me kill it with kindness and smile back at it. 'Smile' life is too short

I smile
why?
Life is too short
death is sharpening its clause
The curtains are being drawn 
still I smile
why?
Him
he
that’s why?
Death took what was mine
I cried
why?
No
him
no
he
no we
no us

Just
me

That’s why?
Now once again
I smile?
Stop questioning
the answer
is right before you
him
he
we
us

let me smile at life
for life is crying for me

Them like to keep you hoping because the truth is bitter there truth is there 'no hope out there'

Sleeping with the rats 

Thanks to daddy's old bat 

What do you have to say to that

Not even in the winter my head in a hat

Selling me to men at 13 

Only because nature's curse has made me fit to bare 

No one can see the scars just a lonesome girl standing there

Can't escape so I rest never seen

Never heard

Not a cherp 

But then of course 

I am not a bird 

Though at times I wish I were

An eagle or a horse

Away from this pain and this house I need to prance or sore 

Freedom I beg don't be sour 

That taste is one you can devour 

Don't cause these tears forever more 

They say we are living the best of our days today

I hope that is not the case 

If so my life would become worse than hell may 

I never go a stray

Freedom please open the door

Before silence takes over me forever 

More 

They say that blood is thicker than water

There is much that can explain 

We are not one of the same 

Married to my dad 

Now you seem to think you own us and his land 

I shan't make a mistake and ask for my hand you to take

That will give you the chance for it to a thousand times break

Dear lord may in my future only enlightenment be standing there

I only hope I will still have a head with hair 

After being a mop and a broom to sweep the filthy floors 

My only request is freedom please unlock your home door 

If not then only death I have in store 

And after I am gone people calling me a whore

Please freedom open your door

I need your help dear lord

This is the last time I apologize this is 'my appology'

You want me to appologise

So I will

I am sorry that for you I could kill

I am sorry at your request I spend my nights talking to you In the freezing cold by my window sill

I am sorry for you there is nothing I wouldn't do 

I am so sorry that you are incredibly stupid and don't have a clue

I am sorry for loving you

I am sorry that I let you decide 

But after all just like you said it is your life

I am sorry that now you are gone I refuse to cry

I am sorry my life is now too precious for you to die

I am sorry you want the truth so I am not going to lie

I am sorry I can't take the stress so this is goodbye  

I am sorry it hurts you to hear it never would have worked

I am sorry that my cleanliness was beasmuged  by your filthy dirt 

This goes without saying I am not sorry this is going to hurt 

I am not sorry because where there is no trust all love is cursed 

I am sorry I couldn't provide you with the pain you deserve 

I am sorry that I am not sorry at all

Because you bought it upon yourself when you built that brick wall

You are not stronger just because your legs are longer so don't even begin to criticize strength isn't just muscle size something you should bare in mind,'Stronger You Are Not'

You hate to see me happy 

I want to see you cry 

You hate to hear me laughing 

I just want you to die 

You say you want the truth 

We both know that's a lie 

You're craving for attention 

That's something you won't get

Call me what you want 

You will and that's a bet 

One thing you should do 

Remember don't forget 

Was it not I, you behind I left

I won't apologize so let that skip your mind 

The best thing I have done 

Was leaving you behind 

With us now apart it is another day

You're not going to like this 

But I am better this way 

So walk on down the road 

Never look behind 

Because when you see me fly

You'll wish that you wet blind 

You better run or you'll be late 

Life is closing its one and only gate

You might not believe but you I still don't hate 

But for happiness and smiles 

I would rather wait

For the first time in so long 

I am proving you wrong 

My life is a harpsichord and my destiny the song 

Despite your little judgement 

I still rest my head 

There is no point in seeing red

Nothing will join me as I rest when I am dead 

Remember when you laughed and watched me while I bled 

I prayed from the father you see forgiveness 

Then I went to bed 

You shot me with the dart 

Yet, no hate seeped from my heart 

This may be where we end 

But this is where I start 

Though you've been through a lot 

Stronger you are not 

I am sorry to have to say 

Your strength has missed a gap 

Don't be talking about strength 

Just because your legs have length 

 yes you are taller 

yes I am smaller 

that doesn't make you stronger

you are not stronger 

just because your legs are longer

When I get up to work

That is when you go to nap

So babe please 

Shut your massive trap 

That feeling of guilt has devoured me alive and the pain is killing me slowly, painfully stabbing me like a partially blunt knife, it's all my fault and this I know and it only causes me to feel more 'Guilty'

After this I will be happy
I know I will be happy
he hasn't for a long time given me what I wanted
and all that time I cried myself to sleep
he wounded me
the stabs were razor cut
and tower deep
after this I'll be able to get my beauty sleep
It's the right thing to do
keep him but have myself another boo
I don't know about you
but if in time I could go back
this mistake I would never return to
marriage
home
kids
I shouldn't have done what I did
lying on broken promises
what's his is mine and what's mine is his
only one thing of my own I have and it is this
the guilt which devours me, God forbid may it never be his
I opened myself to sin
I cut myself, from deep within
guily I am
feeling filthier than a bin
guilty
I am guilty
I won't let him know
if he knows I am scared he would leave me,
go.