This will change your perception on the definition of a sonnet, so just go don't 'Hold On'

Wait a minute 

hold on 

did yesterday you not say

you will love me until night replaces Day

until heaven with hell, together they lay

knowing they never will- will they?

By saying that you had vowed to stay

I only wish I could still call you bae 

hold up, hold on...

why am I still holding on?

Are you not gone? 

I was truly about you wrong

don't hold up, go, don't hold on

Don't hold up, don't hold on I going no I'm gone 

'New' beginnings are just the end of old endings and I hate them because when love is true between two there is no welcoming into it somebody 'New' and something so true won't allow for anything 'New' because true love stories never end so Mr. 'New' I hate you if *you* read this know I still love you

New me

new you 

this would happen this I knew 

our love was going to disappear into the blue

there would come a day when I could no longer see you

I would know sleepless nights this I knew 

I dread starting again

out with the old and in with the new 

new me 

new you

new black 

it's blue

new 

nothing to look forward to

new bae 

new boo

old me 

please let it be the old you 

I would find myself begging this I knew 

when that fine line I drew 

this would happen this I knew 

loving black 

hating blue 

hating black 

loving blue 

though who cares I just miss you 

I love all things old

I hate all things new
dear Mr. New I truly and unconditionally hate you

Going 'Back' has made me realise how lucky I am to have what I have it took me throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock to then look 'Back' and realise I am fine this way

I am back

back here

back in time 

back to waiting in the line 

sent back- honestly it's fine 

being sent back to my youthful time 

I am back

back to the innocent old me

back to being the old me 

back to years previous to my current life 

back to not knowing the definition of strife

I am back

and from that life I want to be given the sack

I hate knowing it is confidence I lack

I want to come back

crawl back

sprint back 

swim back

and at the end of all that I might... take a nap

It is the flashbacks and memories of the past giving me a slap

and to my current life making me want to come 

BACK!

You may not remember; but I do. You may not see things that way; but I do. You may not believe. You may refuse to believe; but I do. I do because it has happened to me and it controls me more than you may think... why do you think my luck hides behind love and my love forever hibernates in a dark box that is always locked; 'Shut' to you and everything else?

Do you remember?

The door I swore I would never shut 

that was before it all went up in flames 

that was before they labelled  us by names 

that was before they falsely named me a slut

now that door I always shut 

Do you remember?

the window they broke and I later fixed 

when I swore once and for all I would leave it unlocked 

that was before they shot me and left me shocked 

when it's glass out they knocked 

Do you believe? 

I hate that we have not tied the knot 

there are days when I want to die and rot 

most of the time I want to get shot 

Now do you see why?

Why I deem myself out of luck

why my life really does suck

why in quicksand I am forever stuck 

why my window I will always latch

why my  door I will always shut 

my heart will remain shut

my eyes, to pain are shut

and will forever be shut 

Turn around to see the truth behind the mask I so tightly hold to my face please just one last time 'Turn Around'

Turn around it's a lie
turn your head so you don't watch me die
turn around for too long you've been stuck on the dark side
turn up, you don't have to hide
turn yourself in, let your punishment love decide
too late it will never be
broke your heart,did she?
wake up, turn around to see she is not me
give that one precious chance to me
you will see
you heart broken it will never again be
I know, I feel your pain, before my heart was broken by he
but God the light he helped me see
turn around to find me
standing
to feel you I am demanding
watching my heart expanding
turn around
to my ears your heartbeat is the sound
to my see you are the land
to my arm you are the hand
to my eyes you are the sight
to my feather you are the weight: light
so for the last time
Turn around
Please turn around
let your eyes me they see
let your heart take the lead
let us together be
turn around I am not she
turn around

Most of us have secrets we have trouble concealing and some kill us softly and slowly from deep within. This is 'The Secret' that tears me apart every time I think about it.

I kept it a secret
but it came out
leaving me hurt and trust in doubt
so wrapped up in that little game
love was proved to be a pain
and is now driving me insane
words are not enough to explain
mentality
gone
left with close to none
it is all gone
going
I am going
I am going nowhere fast
I am still here
but I am going crazy
they don't understand
they cannot understand
because they live outside our land
but the truth is life without him I can't stand
now from my heart love is banned
it was like falling from a height and crying to land
love is drowning in reality's quick sand
with darkness lurching around every bend
and the letters my heart refuses to send
this could very well be the end
to once again hurt I do not intend

Some people decide to look at my current life and think it has always been perfect but they couldn't be more wrong, there have been times when I have cried, there have been times when I died only to come back to life and face the pain all over again. I may be exultant now but- one first has to cry to smile- one has to loose a diamond and pick up a potato to learn a lesson and fill with enough regret not to let it happen again... I know exactly how it feels to be on the other side.

Okay,so we are torn apart 

promises are shattered

and I am still in your heart

seriously?

Please...

I think you need to take your leave 

after all we have been through, this is goodbye

I will look back and laugh while you cry

My feelings towards you I cannot deny

Hate,

I want you to keel over and die 

No, I am no-longer peace's dove 

I use to believe now all I say is...

Scrap love